How to make a Flirt Program in C++ ( Computer Humor )

#include<STD ISD PCO.h>
#include <mobile.h>
#include<sms.h>
#include<love.h>
#define Cute beautiful_lady
main()
{
goto college;
scanf("100%" ,&ladies);


if(lady ==Cute)
line++;
while( !reply )
{
printf("I Love U");
scanf("100%" ,&reply);
}
if(reply == "GAALI")
main(); /* go back and repeat the process */
else if(reply == "SANDAL ")
exit(1);

else if(reply == "I Love U")
{
lover =Cute ;
love = (heart*)malloc( sizeof(lover) );
}
goto restaurant;
restaurant:
{
food++;
smile++;
pay->money = lover->money;
return(college) ;
}
if(time==2.30)
goto cinema;
cinema:
{
watch++;
if(intermission)
{
coke++;
Popecorn++;
}
******