Lately I am beginning to question what is wrong with me. I feel so lost, confused, depressed and sadly dead inside. I do not talk or hang out with my close friends because they make fun of me and most importantly have no respect for me so why do I need friends like that for. I thought the new year was going to change my life for the better but so far its doing the opposite. Who knows what tomorrow hold for me and the next day and so on, only time will tell.
The year 2009 was all about new beginnings for me, a new start, a new direction and change. It has been all of that and you know something I like it a lot. All these changes have made me feel better about myself and who I am. Yesterday my friend came and we chilled, I haven't seen this guy since December of last year so it was nice to hang out with him so we just started shooting around and then he asked me why I don't chill with the guys anymore or why am I not talking to them. I told him and he said he was going to try to resolve it and I told him this cant be resolved. Before it was 7 of us all playing ball and hanging out now theres only 2 people left out of that number who still hang out and chill on a regular basis. Me I don't hang out or talk to them, my other 2 friends don't hang out with them and the other 2 are just here and there. I didn't tell anyone the root of the problem but 2 of them already figured it out. I have no regrets about my decision. There will be more change to come because 2009 is the year of change for me, how do I know there will be more change because the biggest change will happen in August of 2009 where I will shock some people, surprise others and disappoint a few, but hey I can't please everyone right.
05-28-2009 02:35 AM 