When friends become foes

Got your attention, Unregistered

Now that you're here, lets have a few words. I (and you too) have friends who are not just friends but good friends. These friends claim to be pure in every way, and of course they treat you like you're the last person standing on planet Earth. Time shifts direction and you're standing in the middle of a brawl; these friends become foes! They treat you like their garbage guy ala ignore you.

Ever wondered what went wrong? Maybe you revealed a little too much to them, the attraction element vanished and they had nothing left to explore in you. Wait, could be that they found new friends? Or perhaps a change of heart?

So, the search for a true friend continues. IMO it doesn't exist and all of our efforts will end up six feet under. Being pessimistic? Well I like to think of myself as a well informed optimist.

For the sake of having a discussion; how do you deal with these foes?

Our minds are as different as our finger prints - no two are alike. It is very
difficult to understand a person from a distance. We make friendship
hoping that we will have good times together. But it may so happen that
some of them may become foes, but not all.

I am an open minded person. Even if a foe comes to me for help, or
sends some one, I will be willing to help them. There is a quote to this
extent by Mahatma Gandhi:

"It is easy enough to be friendly to one's friends. But to befriend the one who regards himself as your enemy is the quintessence of true religion."

There is a similar saying in my native language. I will be willing to
follow it.

Hello Bhai

Well, I do believe in true friendship. But, i have gone thru the experience of having my friends leaving me for other friends, and I have seen that many good friendships just die out, for many reosons. But, once a friend becomes a foe, it is best just to stay away from them.

Hello Yassi

I agree with you both (Naila and Yassi). Sometimes it's hard to move on because you're used to their presence and it hurts to let go. Maybe you're right Yassi, we should maintain a distance once they become foes or better, leave them for good.

Sweeto ab ziada behter lagta hai apko sab ya pehle acha lagta tha jab aap trust kerthi thi?

shukar al hamdALLAH...i hve lots of frnds...and yes i did have some who wanted to leave this frndship and with some i left...the reason waznot only because of them...but it waz like 50-50...dealing with them waz v.easy...close every contact...but that waz sometime hard...when she waz also a frnd of my frnd...in that case it waz hard... cause then no speaking abt her or ill of her...not coming in the mid of her discussion ... not snaching the mid person among us...saying..she is my frnd and should be with me...every thing gets worse...cause one is in contact with the other even if they dont talk...but shukar al hamdALLAH...no extreme kind of foes..

Well, I also would just leave them. There's nothing left in the relationship so what's the point of hanging around? They'll just keep using you over and over again.

I m agree with sir VS Prasad (We make friendship
hoping that we will have good times together. But it may so happen that
some of them may become foes, but not all.
)
Endurer dear I believe in true friendship even i have best friends ,now we r not together but still friends without true friends life kaisy guzrti ho gi aur agar guzry gi bhi tu kaisi life ho gi..i cant imagine..,I believe that if 2 persons are true friends and due to some reasons one become selfish or what ever the other should avoid his little mistakes because if we dont we loose on friend..So jaha tuk hoo sky Humain tu sincere rehna chaiye..agla banda beshak badal jae...

And i also believe that in this era dost kaisy badal jaty hain,reasons bohat sy ho skty hain,but it dosent means keh sub log aik jaisy hi hoty hain.but scha dost woh hi ho ga jis sy app ko sirf aur sirf khushi mily gi...

in my web my best friend pic is there ,,hum aik dosry ky bina reh ne skty,kuch bhi ho kubi dosti toot ne skti ,Life time like brothers hain hum...

moral is be true friend and make true friends

Rahen sis: Good to hear that.

Naila: What did you do to get rid of them?

Hina: Do you have such foes in your life?

Yawar: You know not that you know not.

good to know that...
and what is ur reply to this brother...

if ever i will be treated like this i will just let them go, coz we can't force anyone to like us...

well mere saath aksar aisa hoa hai jab meri friends mujhe buhat pasand hoti hain, i want to be with them at that they don't care about me, but when i don't need them and started forgeting them or want to let them go...they always force me to be with them and give them same love as i gave before...
i can't be the same at that moment n ofcoure i hate myself for this but wenever they need me for any help...i say more then welcome to them...

I don't know i m right or wrong, but atleast i am satisfied that i have no enemies...

People believe in the notion that if you can't befriend someone, you should grab the post of the ultimate enemy. Why do they shoot up for the post of an enemy when they can stay what they're; strangers at best - it's something thats never made sense to me.

Now my POV on the subject. I think the problem begins when you tell them that you will stay with them forever. It's like the marriage vows, till death does us apart. I think it's the interest factor, you tell them a lot about yourself in one go. Even though they will tell you that no matter what you've to say, they will always respect you for who you're (bullcrap) - they don't. So you lose your respect, they lose interest, conflicts arise and the whole relationship is doomed. Like I said, if two people can't befriend themselves, they become enemies. Similarly, if two friends can't remain friends; at least one of them thinks of the other as an enemy. Why? maybe it's some perverted revenge that they seek for whatever reasons. Maybe they want your attention, love, respect, care bla bla regardless of what they do to you.

They can get that, all they need is to twist your history a bit and bring it out in the public. Last I checked, it's called blackmailing, and it's the worst form of it.

So, the solution. Leave them, and leave them for good. I'd suggest that you leave the relationship you were in and not the lesson. It will help, the next time you go out in search of a true friend.

wat i believe... i can't leave my friends, but at the same time i can't be with them all the time...if people can't be friends...then they r not in category of enemies...

i have a true friend...
n always want to be with her, i never want to loose her...nevere ever
i don't want diplomatic friends around me...