examples of how crazy English language is.

[snaz]

If Euro-English, happens, we will forget English spelling
altogether. We can see from the following examples
of how crazy English language is.
1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
2. The farm was used to produce produce.
3. The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
5. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
6. Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
7. I did not object to the object.
8. There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
9. Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
10. How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. Other examples are:
1. There is no egg in an eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
2. English muffins were not invented in England nor French fries in France.
3. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
4. We find that Quicksand works slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

Some more examples of English confusion are:
1. Why is it that Writers write but fingers dont fing, grocers dont groce and hammers dont ham?
2. If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth?
3. If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Sometimes, I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. For example:
1. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
2. We ship by truck and send cargo by ship.
3. We have noses that run and feet that smell.
4. How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which:
1. Your house can burn up as it burns down
2. You fill in a form by filling it out
3. An alarm goes off by going on.
4. When the stars are out, they are visible but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

Indians, specially South Indians have a funny way of pronouncing
certain words like 'Mixed Fruit Jam' and 'Fixed Deposits' etc.
Incidentally, it is pronunciation and not pronounciation.

A friend of mine wanted to borrow a cassette from me as he wished
to record the same on his 'empty' cassette!
It was actually a 'blank' cassette he was referring to.

A few examples of American and English dialectal words:

American English

Telephone Booth Call Box
Biscuits Scones
Chain Store Multiple Shop
Drug Store Chemist
Gasoline Petrol
Cigar Store Tobacconist
Pea Nuts Monkey Nuts
Suspenders Braces
Silent Partner Sleeping Partner
Mail Post
Sidewalk Pavement


Our 'A' for instance, has six different values as in Fat, Fate,
Father, Swallow, Water, Any.

'O' goes wild with not, note, bosom, women, above and who.

Two quotations from Bernard Shaw appeals to our mind:

a). Man does not cease to play because he becomes old
Man grows old because he ceases to play.

b). The reasonable man wants to change himself to suit the
changing conditions of the world.
The unreasonable man wants to change the world to suit himself.
Hence all progress rests with the reasonable man.

Fianlly a fantastic touch:

a). We stand for election
b). We win in a walk
c). We sit in Parliament when it is in progress


Apart from Euro-English, I guess I have added some more confusion
to our Unique English.

Regards,


Need some more....


The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the official language of the European Union rather
than German which was the other possibility. As part of the
negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year
phase-in plan, that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this
will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be
dropped
in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion, and
keyboards kan have one less letter. There will be growing publik
nthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be
replaced with the "f". This will make words like fotograf 20%
shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double
letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also,
al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer peopl wil be
reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hava reil sensibl
riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil
find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil
finali kum tru.

Howasthat!!!!! bowled...

[Zaheer]

lolz correct usage but wiered

[zeeast]

hahahaha...

[Ash]

haha..

[Qambar]

very funny .lolz

[coolshoaib]

that will be one cool language

[ali_ale]

interesting post.