Ever entered a party and didn’t know what to do? Even assuming that you do know the people. Stop hiding behind the pillars. With minimal preparation, you can engage with panache.

Have a road map:
Conversation with strangers typically moves through five stages, says psychologist Bernardo Carducci. From opening line (keep it simple) and introductions, to trying out topics and exploring for common ground, to closure, in which you will sum up what you have learned and possibly exchange contact information. Once you internalize these steps, you will always have a mental map of where to go next.

Stay informed:
“If you’re going some place next week, then know what happened this week, in business, or personal, or social,” says Carducci. “You don’t have to be an expert.” To help conversations flow, apply the two rules of brainstorming; Throw in comments without trying to impress people and don’t judge ideas when they come up. Others will participate more freely if they know that what they say will not be criticized.

Warm up:
Arrive early at event so you can meet people one-on-one. Then move on to “quick talk.” Says Carducci, “Talk to lots of different people for short periods, so you don’t put a lot of pressure on yourself. Have the same conversation with eight or ten people in your initial swing through the crowd. – You’re warming up, just like someone at a race. Then you can go back to the people that interest you.”

Look approachable:
Do not shuffle and look uncomfortable. When people conceal their social anxiety behind a neutral mask, others can become uneasy and interpret their faces as aloof and hostile. To develop warmer interactions, practice looking up with a welcoming smile, in the mirror. Do not struggle and look uncomfortable. When we hunch up and lower our heads, we feel more introspective, explains therapist Erika Hilliard. When we stand tall and lift our heads and smile, out attention moves outward.

Eye contact shows respect:
To make a good first impression, maintain a relaxed posture and warm, engaging eye contact. By meeting someone’s eyes, you’re showing that your mind is not someplace else. To soften your gaze, move your eyes around the person’s face, says relationship coach Susan Rabin.

Say anything:
To break the ice, comment on some detail about the environment around you, says Carducci. Your purpose is simply to signal your willingness to talk. “People think they have to be witty and urbane – what they really have to be, is nice.”

Give extra information:
To get a conversation humming, add details, such as, “I live in Bandra, near Olive. This gives others more topics to run with, so the conversation doesn’t drop like a lead balloon,” says Hilliard. “It does not have to be deep and intimate to be a meaningful connection.”

Source: magnamags