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Thread: Coping As Parents

  1. #1
    Dealing with children is a challenging task. But if you have the right mix of love and discipline you are bound to be a successful parent.

    We all have our moments of self-doubt and helplessness, but parenting is a learning experience both for the child as well as you.

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    One of the most important factors a parent must keep in mind is that he/she too has scope to be better. Reading books on parenting is a sure way to get better insights into one as a parent. Now-a-days there are a host of books available on parenting. From the all-time favourite Dr Benjamin Spock to Miriam Stoppard down to Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, Children are from heaven by John Grey and many more.



    There is no dearth of material but it is pointless if one goes on reading without soaking it in and utilising it. I sugget one buy and keep 1 - 2 books and refer to them as a handy guide-book, whenever doubts assail or when wondering how to handle that errant child.



    Also once a while, even if it is just once in 6 months pick up a parenting magazine or surf through parenting sites, you will always get some new insights. One is also always on the look out for innovative activities or food for kids as also effective ways of handling them as they grow up and assert their independence. So take up a magazine or surf a site, as a memory jogger if nothing else!!






    JUST ASK


    Another learning rope is good old gossip. Yes, be a true mummy - now that you are one - and discuss problem areas with other mothers. You may not always get solutions - but you would be surprised more often than not - you will get some new solutions. And even if you don't it will relieve the stress of whatever is worrying you, after all a sympathetic ear always helps.






    GIVING POSITIVE MESSAGES


    Of course if you are discussing a problem area, make sure your child is not within hearing distance of you. You should know the adage by now - never discuss poor behaviour to outsiders in front of your child. He will get the message that he is a problem child. Make sure you always talk well of your child before others. They are sensitive and what they hear is what they will start beleiveing.



    In fact, do the opposite. For example if your child is a poor eater, or leaves his room untidy, when talking to your friend/neighbour, when your child is within ear-shot, praise the day he ate his food without fuss or cleared the room without being told. This will give positive feelings to the child and he will be less resentful of food placed before him or in clearing up his room.



    All in all there are plenty of places you can get help from in rearing your child, but you have to make the effort.






    WATCH YOURSELF


    But an important thing you must rememeber is that the child's biggest learning experience comes from his parents behaviour. You are his biggest role model and if you are a good parent he will be a good person. Hence it is important for you to be aware of and attempt to improve your small discrepancies - as watching excess TV if you do not wish your child to do the same.



    Children learn the most by what they see around them. If they see parents losing their temper at the smallest provocation they are likely to grow up as short-tempered adults. Similarly if they say their parents reading often they too will develop a love for books.






    Finally 5 things to always keep in mind.



    1. Be positive in your approach.


    Tell them what they should do and not what they shouldn't. For example if your child throws the toffee wrapper on the floor; instead of saying "don't throw it on the floor" just tell him what he should do, ie say "throw it in the dustbin."



    The former is a negative approach and the latter positive. Minimise the use of the words "don't" and "no" in your vocabulary. Instead use positive reinforcements. Think of positive alternatives to problem areas.






    2. Always listen to the child's point of view.


    Don't condemn or criticise him on what other's have said without listening to his side of the story



    3. Always compliment a child for his efforts.


    A child needs to feel appreciated and loved. A child always wants to naturally please his parents - unless he is otherwise provoked by feelings of hunger, tiredness, is sleepy or angry.



    4. Never make fun of or laugh at a child.


    This lowers self-esteem of the child. Correct his mistakes gently and let him know making a mistake is not a crime.



    5. Last but not least -

    have faith in yourself and in your child.
    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3..._girl/Sari.gif

    !** I'M CooL.....I MaKe Ice JeaLouS **!

  2. #2
    zeeast! how can u come up with all these stuff....
    A Stranger ...

  3. #3

  4. #4
    ohhhh thanksss

    well shaper.....don't you know me I use to come up wid good stuff most often.....


    and zeeshan bhai......you are looking great wid this new avatar.....
    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v3..._girl/Sari.gif

    !** I'M CooL.....I MaKe Ice JeaLouS **!

  5. #5
    thank u zeeast sis....
    thank u for some good info,
    i hope ill be good at them

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