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Thread: Anger management tips: Tame your temper

  1. #1
    Anger management tips: Tame your temper

    Controlling your temper isn't always easy. But these effective anger management techniques will help give you the upper hand.

    If your outbursts, rages or bullying are negatively affecting relationships with family, friends, co-workers and even complete strangers, it's time to change the way you express your anger. You can take steps on your own to improve your anger management.
    Anger management tips

    Here are some anger management tips to help get your anger under control:
    • Take a "time out." Although it may seem cliche, counting to 10 before reacting, or leaving the situation altogether, really can defuse your temper.
    • Do something physically exerting. Physical activity can provide an outlet for your emotions, especially if you're about to erupt. Go for a brisk walk or a run, swim, lift weights or shoot baskets.
    • Find ways to calm and soothe yourself. Practice deep-breathing exercises, visualize a relaxing scene, or repeat a calming word or phrase to yourself, such as "take it easy." You can also listen to music, paint, journal or do yoga.
    • Once you're calm, express your anger as soon as possible so that you aren't left stewing. If you simply can't express your anger in a controlled manner to the person who angered you, try talking to a family member, friend, counselor or another trusted person.
    • Think carefully before you say anything so that you don't end up saying something you'll regret. Write a script and rehearse it so that you can stick to the issues.
    • Work with the person who angered you to identify solutions to the situation.
    • Use "I" statements when describing the problem to avoid criticizing or placing blame. For instance, say "I'm upset you didn't help with the housework this evening," instead of, "You should have helped with the housework." To do otherwise will likely upset the other person and escalate tensions.
    • Don't hold a grudge. Forgive the other person. It's unrealistic to expect everyone to behave exactly as you want.
    • Use humor to release tensions, such as imagining yourself or the other person in silly situations. Don't use sarcasm, though — it's just another form of unhealthy expression.
    • Keep an anger log to identify the kinds of situations that set you off and to monitor your reactions.
    • Practice relaxation skills. Learning skills to relax and de-stress can also help control your temper when it may flare up.

    Sticking with anger management skills

    It may take some time and intense effort to put these tips into practice when you're facing situations that typically send you into a rage. In the heat of the moment, it can be hard to remember your coping strategies.
    You may need to keep something with you that serves as a reminder to step back from the situation and get your anger under control. For instance, you may want to keep a small, smooth stone in your pocket or a scrap of paper with your tips written down. With due diligence, these anger management techniques will come more naturally and you'll no longer need such reminders.
    Getting professional anger management help

    You can practice many of these anger management strategies on your own. But if your anger seems out of control, is hurting your relationships or has escalated into violence, you may benefit from seeing a psychotherapist or an anger management professional. Role playing in controlled situations, such as anger management classes, can help you practice your techniques.



  2. #2
    This article might help ones anger;
    Anger

    According to Quran and Sunnah

    General



    The Noble Qur'an - Fussilat 41:34

    The good deed and the evil deed cannot be equal. Repel (the evil) with one which is better (i.e. Allâh ordered the faithful believers to be patient at the time of anger, and to excuse those who treat them badly), then verily! he, between whom and you there was enmity, (will become) as though he was a close friend.

    The Noble Qur'an - Al-'Imran 3:134

    Those who spend [in Allâh's Cause - deeds of charity, alms, etc.] in prosperity and in adversity, who repress anger, and who pardon men; verily, Allâh loves Al-Muhsinûn (the good*doers).

    Hadith - Sahih Al-Bukhari 8.135, Narrated Abu Huraira, r.a.

    Allah's Apostle P.B.U.H said, "The strong is not the one who overcomes the people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger."

    Hadith - Sahih Al-Bukhari 8.137, Narrated Abu Huraira, r.a.

    A man said to the Prophet P.B.U.H, "Advise me!" The Prophet said, "Do not become angry and furious." The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet said in each case, "Do not become angry and furious."



    What to do when angry


    Hadith - Sahih Bukhari 8.136, Narrated Sulaiman bin Sarad, r.a.

    Two men abused each other in front of the Prophet while we were sitting with him. One of the two abused his companion furiously and his face became red. The Prophet said, "I know a word (sentence) the saying of which will cause him to relax if this man says it. Only if he said, 'I seek refuge with Allah from Satan, the outcast.' " So they said to that (furious) man, "Don't you hear what the Prophet is saying?" He said, "I am not mad."

    Hadith - Sunan of Abu Dawood, Narrated Atiyyah as-Sa'di, r.a.

    AbuWa'il al-Qass said: We entered upon Urwah ibn Muhammad ibn as-Sa'di. A man spoke to him and made him angry. So he stood and performed ablution; he then returned and performed ablution, and said: My father told me on the authority of my grandfather Atiyyah who reported the Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) as saying: Anger comes from the devil, the devil was created of fire, and fire is extinguished only with water; so when one of you becomes angry, he should perform ablution.

    Hadith - Sunan of Abu Dawood, Narrated Abu Dharr, r.a.

    The Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) said to us: When one of you becomes angry while standing, he should sit down. If the anger leaves him, well and good; otherwise he should lie down.


    Sayings of the Salaf


    ‘Abdullâh ibn Mubârak (rahimahullâh) would say, "The world is the believer’s prison. The best action in the prison is patience and control of one’s anger. The believer has no country in the world, His land will be there tomorrow in the Afterlife."

    One of the Salaf said, "One of you might see his own faults but he still loves himself. He then hates his Muslim brother on suspicion. So where is the logic?"

    Hadith - Al-Tirmidhi #5145, Narrated Abu Sa'id al-Khudri, transmitted by Tirmidhi

    ...It is said that he (sallallahu aleihi wa sallam) mentioned anger, saying, "Some are swift to anger and swift to cool down, the one characteristic making up for the other; some are slow to anger and slow to cool down, the one characteristic making up for the other; but the best of you are those who are slow to anger and swift to cool down, and the worst of you are those who are swift to anger and slow to cool down." He continued, "Beware of anger, for it is a live coal on the heart of the descendant of Adam. Do you not notice the swelling of the veins of his neck and the redness of his eyes? So when anyone experiences anything of that nature he should lie down and cleave to the earth."
    "The world and all the things in the world are precious but the most precious thing in the world is a Virtuous Woman."
    - Prophet Muhmmad, Sal Allahu 'Alayhi wa Sallam

  3. #3
    mujhe aaj kal najane kyun bahat ghussa aata hai.lagta hai..it has built in, in me...
    i will recite that first dua by sulaiman (ra)...and i know it will be fruitful.



  4. #4
    Allah behter kare ga sis. InshAllah you'll come out of it gradually. Do read it thoroughly.
    "The world and all the things in the world are precious but the most precious thing in the world is a Virtuous Woman."
    - Prophet Muhmmad, Sal Allahu 'Alayhi wa Sallam

  5. #5
    pehle me ko ghussa nahi aata tha...aaj kal bahut ziada hai...maybe because i m not able to help myself..aur issi liye ghussa is taking its poll in me..but Yes ALLAH resides in me...so i dont hve to worry much..ji..i will keep reciting...
    subhanALLAH nice post...aaj two ache posts parhne ko mil gayi....one here and the other one in another thread.



  6. #6
    Hmmmmm... here is something i wanna share..

    (Duaa)

    the words of the Prophet (saw) after being stoned in Tawif, the death of Khadija and Abu Talib in short when he (SAW) was going through some tough times emotionally and physically he turned to Allah and said
    '"To You, my Lord,
    I complain of my weakness,
    lack of support and the humiliation I am made to receive.
    Most Compassionate and Merciful!
    You are the Lord of the weak,
    and you are my Lord.
    To whom do You leave me?
    To a distant person who receives me with hostility?
    Or to an enemy You have given power over me?
    As long as you are not displeased with me,
    I do not care what I face.
    I would, however,
    be much happier with Your mercy.
    I seek refuge in the light of Your face by which all darkness is
    dispelled and both this life and the life to come are put in
    their right course against incurring your wrath or being the
    subject of your anger.
    To You I submit,
    until I earn Your pleasure.
    Everything is powerless without your support."
    "The world and all the things in the world are precious but the most precious thing in the world is a Virtuous Woman."
    - Prophet Muhmmad, Sal Allahu 'Alayhi wa Sallam

  7. #7
    waoo..jazakALLAH alf khair..kitni beautiful dua hai...its really beautiful...thanks 4 sharing..



  8. #8
    Yeah, u can also recite this dua sis.
    "The world and all the things in the world are precious but the most precious thing in the world is a Virtuous Woman."
    - Prophet Muhmmad, Sal Allahu 'Alayhi wa Sallam

  9. #9
    yup..planning to learn it..



  10. #10
    Great, :=) btw, same here. It's very beautiful.
    "The world and all the things in the world are precious but the most precious thing in the world is a Virtuous Woman."
    - Prophet Muhmmad, Sal Allahu 'Alayhi wa Sallam

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