funny shayaris

[shehzad_rocks]

1. Aansu tere gire to ankhein meri ho,
dil tera dhadke to dhadkan meri ho.
Khuda kare hamari ye dosti itni gehri ho,
ki NAUKRI TUM KARO AUR SALARY MERI HO.

2. Naa
pyar
na
mohabbat yaaro!
DEVDAS
ka
kehna
maano yaaro!
Na
chandramukhi
na
paaro yaaro,
roz
Shaaam
Ko. . .
2 PEG maaro yaaro....

3. Arz kiya hai...
Main bhi tere liye
TAJ MAHAL
banaaunga..
Main bhi tere liye TAJ MAHAL banaaunga...
1 cup Subah aur 1 cup Shaam ko Pilaaunga..!!

4. May God increase your happiness daily like price of PETROL and decrease your sorrows like clothes of MALLIKA SHERAVAT.

5. Param Pratapi,
Param Tejasvi,
Maha Kripalu,
Atyant Dayalu,
Pujyaniye,
Sarvashatiman
Maharaj Shri SAWAN Ji sokar uth gaye hai.
To saare Bolo Good Evening...

6. Wife - I wish I was a newspaper, so i'd be in ur hands all day.
Husband - I too wish that u were a newspaper, so I could have a new 1 everyday.

7. Hi to a Sweet Person
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OK let me GO, I h've 2 FOOL other too. Howz tht?

8. Bring ur phone close 2 ur cheek.
..DISHUM...
msg kyun nahi karte?

9. "Smile you make and hello say to wanted just i that out find you when irritating very it find will you."
Got confused? Read it backward.

10. Ocean full of syllabus.
River full of questions.
A bucket level v hav studied.
Only a mug level we can write.
Marks come like drops.
Hence njoy. Dont study.

11. Exams r like GFrnds
1)ek gayi to dusri aati hai
2)dono samajh ke bahar hai.
3)aati hai to tension deti hai, jati hai to khushi deti hai

12. What is a KISS?
In view of Geometry kiss is d shortest distance b/w 2 LIPS.
In Economics, kiss is that thing 4 which demand is always high.

13. Mundian nu sangat khraab maardi.
Os ton bach jaan ta shraab maardi.
Phir bach jaan ta jawani mardi.
J phir ve bach jaan ta janani mardi...


14. Read this with a mirror.
biguT2 D 992 I
pni992 n0279q
..2iHT 9>lil
2m2 !!! @H !@H

15. Eqn 1: Study=Don't Fail
Eqn 2: Don't Study=Fail
Adding eqn1 & eqn2:
Study+Don't Study=Fail+Don't Fail
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+>Study(1+Don't)=Fail(1+Don't)
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=>STUDY=FAIL
then y waste time ??


16. Today is International Day of d Smart & Good looking pple! So send this msg 2 someone who fits. Plz dont send back 2 me. I have already received 10,13,150 msgs.

17. Newton's law of Romance:- LOVE CAN NEITHER BE CREATED NOR BE DESTROYED, IT CAN ONLY BE CHANGED FROM ONE GIRLFRIEND TO ANOTHER....

18. Press down 7 times to become sweet.
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Tusi vi naa? Hai mein mar jaavan, tusi Vaise hi ainey sweet ho.
Aivey hi press kari jaande ho...

19. No Special Reason 4 This Msg. Just Wanted 2 Steal A Single Amt Out of Your Busy Day & Hope 2 Make U Smile Wen I say Take Care & Be Happy.

20. One time talking with a "GENIUS" is equal 2 d
KNOWLEDGE of reading books 4 a month.
This is a Chinese proverb. So if u want knowledge "CALL ME" :-D

21. Bas kya yahin tak tha saath hamara, intezar hi karte rahe hum tumhara,
Kab hogi Is kambakht mobile mein roshni, Aur kab aayega SMS tumhara

22. Kripya Dhyan De,
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Dhyan Dene Ke liye Shukriya.

23. I have something for U
Close ur eyes !
1..2..3..
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Cheater, U didn't close ur eyes, so nothing 4U.

24. Are O SAMBHA,
Mere Kitne SMS mile?
Bahut sare,
Aur tumne kitne Bheje?
Ek Bhi Nahi!
Haak thu
Dhikkar hai.
Ab tak bahut SMS khaye
Ab Goli kha
DiCHOUN

25. I
ME
MYSELF
YES ME
I
TRULY
MADLY
DEEPLY
HOPELESSLY
R
E
A
LLY
PURELY
HONESTLY
WARMLY
DEARLY
TOTALLY
WANTED TO DISTURB


26. Wife and Husband are like two tires of a vehicle. If any one punctures vehicle cannot move further. So intelligent - men always carry a stepney with them.

27. Heights of Friendship!!!
Your Best Friend Runs Away With Your Wife And You Start Missing Your Friend !

28. Do pal ki bhi khushi na mile to kya, umar bhar gum ke sahare ji lenge,
Kya hua jo hamari girlfriend nahi, hum Aapki girlfriend ke sahare ji lenge..

29. For every Garden, U must be the Rose; for every sweet face,
U must be the smile; for every kiss U must be the lips; for every beautiful girl,
U must must be her brother...

30. "An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have.
The older she gets the more interested he is in her."

31. "Any woman can fool a man if she wants to and if he's in love with her."

32. This is your CellPhone Operator. We just found out you're too dumb to use your phone, so please put it on ground and start jumping on it. Thank you

33. I want u 2 know that our friendship means a lot 2 me. U cry, I cry. U laugh.. I laugh.
U jump out of d window.. I look down n then.. I laugh again.. hahaha

34. Another mnth, another yr, another smile, another tear, another winter,
a summer too but there can never b another U
bcoz God doesn't make the same mistake twice!

35. Chaand me dekha to aap dikhe, badal mein dekha to aap dikhe,
taaro mein dekha to aap dikhe. Are yaar thoda side me ho jaao to kuch aur bhi dikhe.

36. God saw me Hungry he created Pizza. He saw me thirsty, created coke.
He saw me walkin, created benz, God saw me without any problem he created U!

37. I Love You I love u very much I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I LOVE YOU SPECIALLY
BCOZ MENKA GANDHI SAID LOVE ANIMALS. HE HE HE !!!

38. Did u read the newspaper today? An UFO landed on earth.
According 2 the news aliens r looking 4 the cutest human on earth.
As a friend don't tell them that I am here )


39. Money can buy...
house but not Home...
Bed not Sleep...
Medicine not health...
MONEY-IS-DIRTY
It only causes pains and sufferings
SO SEND ME UR MONEY AND BE HAPPY )


40. no visits...
no calls...
no sms's...
no letters...
no missed calls...
I'm worried...
R u in jail again?


41. We've knwn..
Each oth 4..
Quite a while nw, do u thk
we can be more..
than FRNDS?
Cos I LIKE U
Vry much. Will u be my...
PARTNER
2 rob a BANK !?


42. what has
6 feet
9 heads
1 leg
5 hands
7 eyes
13 ears
3 mouths
1 finger
8 stomach
4 brains
6 buns
stop thinking u dumbo there is nothing like this.


43. Think Big...
Think Smart...
Think Positive...
Think Beautiful...
Think Great...
I know, that is too much for u, so here is a shortcut ...
Just Think about ME !


44. tere dar pe sanam hazar baar aayenge,
tere dar pe sanam hazar baar aayenge.....
ghanti bajayenge aur bhaag jayenge !!


45. He: Janeman, is dil mein chali aao
She: Sandal nikaloon kya!
He: Pagli, ye mandir nahi hai, aise hi aajao...

46. Mein Tumhare Liye Sab Kuch Karta..Magar Mujhe Kaam Tha..
Mein Tumhare Liye Doob Ke Marta...Magar Mujhe Zukham Tha !


47. Tumko dekha to ek khyal aaya
Tumko dekha to ek khyal aaya
Tumhari saheli ko dekha to doosra khyal aaya.

48. Dil ka dard dil todne wale kya jane, ishk ka riwaz zamana kya jane,
kitni mehnat lagti hai ladki patane mein, ye ghar baitha ladki ka baap kya jane.

49. Never kiss a policewoman. C says- STOP! HANDS UP. never kiss a lady doctor.
C says-NEXT plz. Always kiss a Teachr. C says-NOW REPEAT IT 100 times.

50. Dosti karo school wali se. Ishq karo college wali se.
Program karo office wali se. Dil lagao Pados wali se.
Ankh lagao sali se and mar khao gharwali se.

51. Prof said:If any boy go 2 d girls hostel, $100 fine for first time,
200 4 2nd time, 500 4 3rd time.
Munnabhai bola,"BOLE TO monthly paas ka kitna mamu

52. I worte ur name on d sand n it gt washd away.
I worte ur name in d air n it gt blown away.
I worte ur name on my heart n..I gt a HEART ATTACK!

53. I would like 2 officially announce that
I am already accepting friendshipday gifts in cash, cheques, chocolates, luv & airtime.
Avoid rush, Send Now! Thank U!

54. Phone mat kiya karo dear, mom hoti hai near, papa se lagta hai fear,
baat nahi hoti hai clear. Isliye sms karo dear, without fear n very clear.

55. Once Tom Criuse went to court to claim that he is the most handsome,
sexy guy, after few minutes he came out angrily
and shouted "Who the hell is "SAWAN"


56. Just
Dropping
by
to
Say
I
MISS
U
Sender: PRIETY ZINTA
+919821098765
Oops.!!
Sender:
AISHWARYS RAI
+919820054321
dont hope so HIGH.
Sender:
Sawan
+919414322262


57. 1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17
18
19
20
VERY GOOD! Kal A-B-C-D sikhenge...
58. Maine pucha chand se ki - dekha hai kahin, mere yaar sa hasin...
Chand ne kaha ...Ullu ke pathe..itni upar se dikhta hai kya koi???
59. Before Marriage:MAD for each other,
After Marriage:MADE for each other,
In future:MAD bcoz of each other

60. Woh bhi kya haseen din hua karte the, jab hum hasino se gale mila karte the.
Ye un dino ki bat hai jab hum "DO SAAL" ke hua karte the.

61. Geeta saar. SMS wo gyan hai jo batne se badhta hai, isliye hey prani!
Tu bill ka moh tyag de aur karm(sms) kar. Tabhi tera maanav janm safal hoga !!

62. Someone says Whisky is Risky, While someone says Whisky bina zindagi miss ki, But I say Rum, Beer ho ya Whisky, Nahi hai wo ladki se zyada Risky....Cheers.

63. Is dil mein tarane bahut hai, zindagi jine ke bahane bahut hai.
Kis-kis ko SMS karoon, kambakht iss nacheez ke diwane bahut hain...!!

64. Apun ko laga ki apun ko tere ko bol dena chahiye, fir kya hai na,
k apun ka dost log bhi apun ko insist kiya k bolich dal, to bolta hai...
I MISS U YAAR..!!

65. 5 steps to a LOVELY MORNING. Close ur eyes, take a deep breath,
open ur arms, feel ur heartbeet & say
"its too early, let me sleep a bit more!
"GOOD MORNING".


66. Life is chemistry
Dilute ur sorrows
Evaporate Ur worries
Filter Ur happiness
& U'll find crystals of LOVE
Keep smiling !

67. Jab tumhara SMS aata hai, mera rom-rom machal jaata hai ,
ang-ang mein gudgudi hoti hai, yeh SMS ka kasoor nahi hai,
kambakht mobile hi vibration par hota hai..

68. What happen 2 UR network? I tried calling U,
but the operator said Welcome 2 the jungle,
the monkey to whom UR trying to call is on the tree plz try later.

69. Sorry to disturb u but u must be a friend of SAWAN
Could u pls inform him that his cell is with me,
he left it at the bedside last night - Aishwarya Rai

70. LAILA ko MAJNU ka sms nahi aya, LAIALA ne 3 din khana nahi khaya.
LAILA marne vali he MAJNU k pyar me,
aur MAJNU baitha hai sms free hone k intezar main.

71. Kitnaburalagtahaijabkoibinspacediyesmsbhejdetahaia ur
kitnaachalagtahaijabkoibevkufus
smskoiitniakallagakarpadhtahai...

72. Machchhar ne apko kata wo uska junun tha,
aapne khujli ki wo apka sukun tha,
chah kar bhi aapne use nahi mara bcoz uski rago mein bhi apka khun tha..

73. When U get this SMS,
send it to 1 person U luv,1 U hate, 1 U always think of & 1 U wish to kill.
Now keep guessing why i send it to U ! ! !

74. Good news for U! Rent free accomodation (khana, pena,sona rehna ... sab free)
-- For details JUST DIAL :- 100

75. Tumhare naam ki gazlein chaand par likhne ko ji chahta hai
par kya karu yeh zaalim khwab amavas ki raat ko hi aata hai...


76. Let Me Guess wht ur Doin..
Reading Book?
NaNa!
Listning Music?
Uhu!
Watchin TV?
Nah!
Caught U!
Reading My SMS NA..!
Oh Nw Ur Smiling!
Keep smiling.

77. Koi pathar se na maare mere deewane ko,
nuclear bomb ka jamana hai,
Bomb se uda do saale ko.

78. Some1 asked me abt ur age, well i said...the way u speak-20,
the way u walk - 18, the way u dress-19, in total u look-72..!!!bye

79. Aapko miss karna ROZ ki baat hai, Aapko yad karna ADAT ki baat hai,
Aapse door rehna KISMAT ki baat hai, Par Aapko jhelna HIMMAT ki baat hai!!

80. If you need advice, text me... If you need a friend, call me...
If you need me, come to me... If you need money... ...........
THE SUBSCRIBER CANNOT BE REACHED!

81. Handsome, Sweet, Intelligent, Spontaneous, Good Looking,
Nice Friends, Charming, Funny, well... Enough about ME! How about you?

82. Dil se dil laga ke to dekho meri yaadon me ansu baha ke to dekho,
SMS kya CALL bhi karunga bas ek baar mere mobile ka bill chuka ke to dekho.


83. I decided to send u
the cutest and sweetest gift of the world,
But the postman shouted at me saying,
............
..."GET OUT OF THE POST BOX!


84. Har nazar me ek kashish hoti hai,
har dil me ek chahat hoti hai,
Mumkin nahi har ek ke liye TAJMAHAL banana,
Kyunki har dil me 4-5 MUMTAZ jo hoti hai.


85. Har gali Phoolon se saja rakhi hai,
har darwaje pe swagat me 1 larki bitha rakhi hai,
na jane kis darwaje se aaoge aap,
isliye har ladki ko ek rakhi thama rakhi hai.


86. The girls need u. Ur there hero,
are on the hot trail for u.
They need u for whole life.
Grab the golden chance.
Get the rakhi tied and celebrate Raksha Bandhan.


87. Can v do romance in the evening today?
I'm in good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting
reply me soon
urs lovingly,
"MOSQUITO"

88. Infact... I want to Share 'EVERYTHING' with U.
Your JOYS ur SADNESS, ur HAPPY MOMENTS.
Every Single SECOND OF THE DAY.
Let's START with Your "BANK ACCOUNT"

89.a sms jakar mera salam kehna, save kare to shukriya kehna,
delete kare to bewafa kehna aur na padhe to usse ek rupiya le lena.

90. My eye's
miss u
My Feel's
Love u
My Hand
need u
MY Mind
Call u
MY Heart
just 4u
MY Life
is u
I'll die
without u
aisa Ladkiya kehti hai mujhe....

[Endurer]

ROFL, such a rich collection of jokes..

:applaud;