Birth Of A Nation

[Endurer]

There is an ancient saying that when one has too much money his mind loses the focus. This saying is very old. And this was the case with multi billionaire Munnawar Khalid. His savvy investments had made him one of the richest men in the world. He had bought shares in Moonbucks thinking it was lunar technology but actually it was a coffee franchise.

Moonbucks had a unique marketing approach. By making people sit in a cramped space on painful wooden chairs and by handing them beverages that were difficult to pronounce, by making people nervous because "tall" meant small, a huge customer base was created. It became a religious duty to go to Moonbucks. Everyone had to go there at least few times a day. People were heard saying: "Lets go to Moobucks", "Abhee Chalo I need Moonbucks" and "Moonbucks ke beghair mai jaan de doongee." It was one of those things that people keep doing without actually asking, "why?"

Because every cup of coffee was over 3 dollars, in a few years shareholders of Moonbucks had become wildly rich. And Munnawar was one of them. He stopped using washing machine/dryer and all his clothes went to the laundry because he could afford it. No longer was he doing the coin laundry or pouring the detergent into the machine. He bought electronic tooth brush and hired a remote control consultant who consolidated all the remote controls into one easy to use control station.

DVD, VCR, Cable, Sound System everything could now be used from one easy to use remote. He paid another 55 grand to get the VCR clock programmed. Finally it was working. But overall Munnawar was a down to earth person. Though he was rich beyond anyone’s wildest dreams, such was his humility that he continued to work in Paka Johns as a pizza delivery driver. A job he had worked in before striking it rich. It kept him humble. “I must never forget the value of hard work,” he would explain to bewildered admirers who he helped financially.

But some things money had changed. For example Munnawar would deliver pizza in a helicopter and whenever he felt like it he would go home. He just flew away. He did not feel the need to stay at work for more than an hour and he always arrived late. He also did not bother shaving and all this was against the company policy. Sometimes he came to work naked. But because he owned the store and was always polite no one dared to question his work ethics.

And life would have gone on like that for Munnawar, if the League of Extraordinary People had not contacted him. This was a group created for the purpose of supporting South Asian immigrants in America. The success of this group had earned them front page articles in NewYork Crimes and Washington Toast. They had helped create the first Shaadee Laws and now Desis were allowed to host weddings anywhere.

After the Shadee Laws were passed by congress things changed. On the street you could just drill the road and put up a tent if someone in your family was getting married. It was legal to wed everywhere. Even on the highway, parks, and also at airports and on the runways when no planes were landing. This boosted the catering business because Biryanee and Ladoo is the staple diet of our great nation. But though Desis had become more comfortable and had contributed billions to the economy, these actions invited animosity from the locals.

For example traffic was blocked on highway 635 in Dallas when Sameer and Aisha tied the knot under a magnificent silk tent lighted by glowing oval shaped lights. An over head bridge was decorated with orange spotlights and it made a memorable scene. Then a greyhound bus was delayed in Nebraska because it was Bina’s Mangnee and exits were being used for serving dinner. In Iowa a Mehndi caused nine hour delays due to ludi. At Chicago airport a jet liner crashed into a Dholkee injuring several people and crushing to powder the colorful sticks that had been used for Daandiya. And that was the turning point.

Using this disturbing incident as an excuse a right wing senator started an anti-immigrant campaign. He gained support from neo conservative circles. Neo conservatives changed their name from “New conservatives” because they wanted a fresh image. They wanted the Shadee`s to stop. They wanted all Desis to remain unmarried.

The league countered the propaganda by issuing statement:

“Just like Eskimos are a snow based, as Venice is water based society, Desis are a Shaadee based culture. Without these functions we can not function. It is our basic right. You are asking the Pharoah to break the pyramid.”

But this did not go down well with the American public but in Cairo the people were moved. The Senator did not stop his bitter campaign of demonic prejudice. “They are marrying all over the place,” was his favorite slur. But in a way he was right.

And this wave of racism became rampant. Dear reader, it does not take long before something small becomes something big. In a matter of years Desis were being booed in the streets and hate mail arrived into their homes, delivered by a postman who also hated them, but continued to deliver the mail because it was hateful. It was an age of great evil and the year 2009 is remembered by us as the year of trials.

Life in America became so difficult for South Asians that the League of Extra Ordinary People met specially to discuss the matter. Their president Adnan Raheem proposed that Desis be transported to an island country deep into the pacific. There they would not be bothered by anyone and could easily preserve their own way of life. “The desi needs breathing space and a completely new country where he is not judged by an outside force,” he concluded. Adnan Raheem had the idea after watchingJurassic Park a film, in which dinosaurs are given new life in a lush green but isolated environment.

The motion was carried. And now the league was ready to create a new nation.

[Sporadic]

very nice sharing Adeelooo

[Endurer]

that is rather hilarious. Thank you faisal bhai.

[Roshni]

Adnan Raheem had the idea after watchingJurassic Park a film, in which dinosaurs are given new life in a lush green but isolated environment.

hillarious indeed Partner. this book sounds like a good company hunh? what do u say?

[amitrajv]

ok