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LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE
1)Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your
nose will begin to itch.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
accessible corner.
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy
signal.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you
had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in
will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)
Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know
increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't
work, it will.
Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to
the reach.
Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the
aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss
will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they
will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of
landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness
and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are
talking about.
Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet
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2
Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?
jab koi ladki shadi se pehle pregnant ho,
uski maa bole "HEY BHAGWAN YE TUNE KYA KIYA?".
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3
What's the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE - In both case you
feel "aur thoda ruk jaata to accha model milta"
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4
Ek admi sadhu se bola,
meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
sadhu bola, saale upaay hota to mai sadhu kyun banta?
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Roles in Heaven :
Brahma
Systems Installation
Vishnu
Systems Administration & Support
Lakshmi
Finance and Accounts consultant
Saraswati
Training and Knowledge Management
Shiva
DBA (Crash Specialist)
Ganesh
Quality Assuarance & Documentation
Narada
Data transfer
Yama
Reorganization, Downsizing Consultant & Garbage Collector
Chitragupta
IDP & Personal Records
Apsaras
Downloadable Viruses
Devas
Mainframe Programmers
Surya
Solaris Administrator
Rakshasas
In house Hackers
Ravan
Internet Explorer WWWF
Kumbhakarnan
Zombie Process
Lakshman
Support Software and Backup
Hanuman
Linux/s390
Vaali
MS Windows
Sugreeva
DOS
Jatayu
Firewall
Dronacharya
System Programmer
Vishwamitra
Sr. Manager Projects
Shakuni
Annual appraisal & Promotion
Valmiki
Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)
Krishna
SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle )
Dharmaraj Yudhishthira
ISO Consultant (CMM level 5)
Abhimanyu
Trainee Programmer
Draupadi
Motivation & Team building
Bhima
MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM
Duryodhana
Microsoft product Written in VB
Karna
Contract programmer
Dhrutarashtra
Visual C++
Gandhari
Dreamweaver
100 Kauravas
Microsoft Service Packs and patches
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A judge irritated by a lawyer's behaviour, admonished him,
"You are crossing the limits."
"Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai," roared the lawyer.
"How dare you call me saala ? I'll have you charged for
'contempt of court'," said the judge angrily.
"My lord misunderstood me," replied the lawyer coolly, "I do not
call you saala, all I said was kaun sa law aisa kehta hai...
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guys please reply if u like it
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Sardar Messages
Below 18
Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
Because below 18 was not allowed.
Sardarji's Intelligence
How do you measure Sardarji's intelligence?
Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear
Hand Grenade
What do you do when Sardarji throws a hand grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back.
Hand Grenade-2
What do you do when Sardarji throws a pin at you?
Run like crazy...he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.
Joke On Wednesday
How do you make Sardarji laugh on Saturday?
Tell him a joke on Wednesday.
Hands over ear
What was Sardarji doing when he held his hands tightly over his ears?
He was trying to hold on to a thought.
Retrain
Why does Sardarji work seven days a week?
So you don't have to retrain him on Monday.
Ice Cubes
Why can't Sardarji make ice cubes?
He always forget the recipe.
Kill The Bird
How did Sardarji try to kill the bird?
He threw it off a cliff.
A wind tunnel
What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
A wind tunnel.
Back Of Head
What do you see when you look into Sardarji's eyes?
The back of his head.
Lightning
Why does Sardarji always smile when a lightning blazes?
He thinks his picture is being shot.
Shoes
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Why does Sardarji have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.
Fax
How can you tell when Sardarji sends you a fax?
It has a stamp on it.
Second One
Why can't Sardarji dial 911?
He can't find the Second 1 on the dial.
Dead Bird
"Oh, look at the dead bird."
Sardarji looked skyward and asked, "Where, Where?
Smart Sardars and UFOs
What do smart Sardars and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.
Sardar Snowman
Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman than a regular one?
You have to hollow out the head.
Answering Machine
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Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints like
"Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."
Photocopies
What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
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