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Thread: Great Collection OF Jokes-------Bluehacks

  1. #1
    LAWS OF THE NATURAL UNIVERSE

    1)Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your
    nose will begin to itch.

    Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
    accessible corner.

    Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy
    signal.

    Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you
    had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

    Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in
    will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)

    Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

    Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know
    increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

    Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't
    work, it will.

    Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to
    the reach.

    Theatre Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the
    aisle arrive last.

    Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss
    will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

    Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they
    will have adjacent lockers.

    Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of
    landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness
    and cost of the carpet/rug.

    Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

    Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are
    talking about.

    Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

    Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #2
    2


    Bhagwan ko gussa kab aata hai?
    jab koi ladki shadi se pehle pregnant ho,
    uski maa bole "HEY BHAGWAN YE TUNE KYA KIYA?".
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #3
    3

    What's the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE - In both case you
    feel "aur thoda ruk jaata to accha model milta"
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #4
    4

    Ek admi sadhu se bola,
    meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upay batao.
    sadhu bola, saale upaay hota to mai sadhu kyun banta?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #5
    Roles in Heaven :


    Brahma
    Systems Installation


    Vishnu
    Systems Administration & Support


    Lakshmi
    Finance and Accounts consultant


    Saraswati
    Training and Knowledge Management


    Shiva
    DBA (Crash Specialist)


    Ganesh
    Quality Assuarance & Documentation


    Narada
    Data transfer


    Yama
    Reorganization, Downsizing Consultant & Garbage Collector


    Chitragupta
    IDP & Personal Records


    Apsaras
    Downloadable Viruses


    Devas
    Mainframe Programmers


    Surya
    Solaris Administrator


    Rakshasas
    In house Hackers


    Ravan
    Internet Explorer WWWF


    Kumbhakarnan
    Zombie Process


    Lakshman
    Support Software and Backup


    Hanuman
    Linux/s390


    Vaali
    MS Windows


    Sugreeva
    DOS


    Jatayu
    Firewall


    Dronacharya
    System Programmer


    Vishwamitra
    Sr. Manager Projects


    Shakuni
    Annual appraisal & Promotion


    Valmiki
    Technical Writer (Ramayana Sign off document)


    Krishna
    SDLC ( Sudarshan Wheel Development Life Cycle )


    Dharmaraj Yudhishthira
    ISO Consultant (CMM level 5)





    Abhimanyu
    Trainee Programmer


    Draupadi
    Motivation & Team building


    Bhima
    MAINFRAME LEGACY SYSTEM


    Duryodhana
    Microsoft product Written in VB


    Karna
    Contract programmer


    Dhrutarashtra
    Visual C++


    Gandhari
    Dreamweaver


    100 Kauravas
    Microsoft Service Packs and patches
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  6. #6
    A judge irritated by a lawyer's behaviour, admonished him,
    "You are crossing the limits."

    "Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai," roared the lawyer.

    "How dare you call me saala ? I'll have you charged for
    'contempt of court'," said the judge angrily.

    "My lord misunderstood me," replied the lawyer coolly, "I do not
    call you saala, all I said was kaun sa law aisa kehta hai...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #7
    guys please reply if u like it
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  8. #8
    Sardar Messages
    Below 18

    Why did 18 Sardars go to a movie?
    Because below 18 was not allowed.
    Sardarji's Intelligence

    How do you measure Sardarji's intelligence?
    Stick a tire pressure gauge in his ear

    Hand Grenade

    What do you do when Sardarji throws a hand grenade at you?
    Pull the pin and throw it back.

    Hand Grenade-2

    What do you do when Sardarji throws a pin at you?
    Run like crazy...he's got a hand grenade in his mouth.

    Joke On Wednesday

    How do you make Sardarji laugh on Saturday?
    Tell him a joke on Wednesday.

    Hands over ear

    What was Sardarji doing when he held his hands tightly over his ears?
    He was trying to hold on to a thought.

    Retrain

    Why does Sardarji work seven days a week?
    So you don't have to retrain him on Monday.

    Ice Cubes

    Why can't Sardarji make ice cubes?
    He always forget the recipe.

    Kill The Bird

    How did Sardarji try to kill the bird?
    He threw it off a cliff.

    A wind tunnel

    What do you call 10 Sardars standing ear to ear?
    A wind tunnel.

    Back Of Head

    What do you see when you look into Sardarji's eyes?
    The back of his head.

    Lightning

    Why does Sardarji always smile when a lightning blazes?
    He thinks his picture is being shot.

    Shoes
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #9
    Why does Sardarji have TGIF written on their shoes? Toes Go In First.

    Fax

    How can you tell when Sardarji sends you a fax?
    It has a stamp on it.


    Second One

    Why can't Sardarji dial 911?
    He can't find the Second 1 on the dial.

    Dead Bird

    "Oh, look at the dead bird."
    Sardarji looked skyward and asked, "Where, Where?

    Smart Sardars and UFOs

    What do smart Sardars and UFOs have in common?
    You always hear about them but you never see them.

    Sardar Snowman

    Why does it take longer to build a Sardar snowman than a regular one?
    You have to hollow out the head.

    Answering Machine
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #10
    Sardarji fixed an answering machine at home.
    Two days later he disconnected it because he was getting complaints like
    "Saala phone utha ke bolta hai ghar pe nahin hai."

    Photocopies

    What does Sardarji do after taking photocopies?
    He compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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